zondag 22 juni 2014

Minnie Goetze -- 23 juni 1976

• Minnie Goetze is de hoofdpersoon van het fictieve maar min of meer autobiografische The Diary of a Teenage Girl (binnenkort ook verfilmd) van de Amerikaanse schrijfster-striptekenares Phoebe Gloeckner (1960).

June 23
I'll never get to sleep with Fred. I'll never see him again. In a way, it s a relief.
He attacked one of the nurses at Mt. Zion and they transferred him to Vacaville, to some kind of mental institution/prison.
Chuck said he smashed a potted plant on the nurse's head when she went into his room to give him his medication. He ripped her clothes and pushed her under his bed. He wouldn't let anyone in his room to help her — he held her hostage somehow. Maybe he threatened to kill her. He said he wanted to be released. The police finally got him by coming in through an outside window. The nurse isn't dead, but some of the bones around her eye were smashed, and she was unconscious. I wonder if she was one of the nurses I met there. I remember a really pretty one with long blond hair.
Chuck says that Fred will probably be in Vacaville for years.
It really is so hard to believe that I was so close to really getting involved with him. It s so sad. I wonder what made him that way?
Even Chuck has second thoughts about calling Fred now after what happened, even though they were best friends.
I am definitely tired of my emotionless sex life.
I got fucked by Ricky today. It was weird. He was in San Francisco, so he called and he said he wanted to talk. He came to my house and met my mom briefly, then we went to Julius Kahn Park and walked around. Of course, we couldn't really talk we just fucked. Not only do I no longer feel a damn thing in my heart for the dear boy, but it was also the worst fuck I have ever had.
Later, my mom said she thought he wasn't as cute as I said he was. She said he looks skinny, but he's got a flabby ass. And she didnt think he was very polite.
I was also fucked by Monroe. Substantially better, but only slight physical titillations. I suppose today was just not my day. I was simply socially uninspired.
Monroe nags me about how I'm going to grow up to be sexually jaded. What the heil does "jaded" mean? I'm going to have had too much too soon and I'm not going to be able to have any fulfilling sexual-emotional relationships with anyone because I take sex too lightly, too impersonally. He should tell me now! He always acts like he wants me to fuck everybody, and we were hardly in love when this whole thing started!
For the past week, I have been growing paler and there are circles under my eyes. I think tomorrow I will go sit under the sky.
Monroe is on the couch, sleeping.

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